I don’t usually pay much attention to the world of high fashion, but the controversy created by last month’s Paris Fashion Week felt close to home. The models who walked down the catwalk were thin, some of them stunning, sparking debate about the shift away from body positivity and back to extreme thinness. Many commentators were sure they had identified the culprit: Vigovi.
Seeing these models, with their hip bones and arms, made me feel ashamed. I know that celebrating this beauty is a huge step backwards for all women, and I hate my nine-year-old daughter for wanting it. But for the past five weeks, I’ve been secretly injecting myself with another semaglutide similar to Vigovi, which in a recent trial was found to lead to a 15 percent weight loss over a year. I do this because, as contradictory as it may seem, I desperately want to be thin.
I didn’t tell my family or close friends what I was doing, because I knew I shouldn’t. Semaglutide works by mimicking a hormone called glucagon-like peptide-1 (GLP-1), which is involved in appetite and food regulation, and Zempek is used to treat diabetes and Vigovi is used for weight loss. Is – the brand name of the drug – also slows down the stomach. Emptying, causing users to feel fuller for longer. The medical profession hopes that they will help solve the obesity epidemic. What they don’t quite want are people like me, who don’t have an unhealthy high body mass index or type 2 diabetes, but just want to lose a stone or so to get back to that “happy “Come to the weight I used. How many years ago?
I was unhappy with my body for a long time when I started reading articles about Hollywood stars apparently transforming themselves with wigs. A size 14-16, I was far from obese, but perimenopause meant I felt constantly tired and had a habit of snacking on sugary snacks when my energy levels dropped in the afternoon. . My weight had gone up to 11, the highest it’s ever been, and most of my nice clothes were replaced with baggy jeans and jumpers to hide my stomach.
Lately, people I know are also taking drugs; A friend dropped from 20 to 12 in the last few months. She told me that it felt like a miracle, like flicking a switch that turned off the constant buzz in her head about food and made it easier to put away her plate after a few mouthfuls.
Curious, I went online and found forums full of women discussing how, despite not meeting medical standards, they were able to take the drug and were happy with the results. I’ve read that abusing it – without obesity or diabetes – can risk serious side effects, from low blood sugar to pancreatitis and even thyroid cancer. I wasn’t upset like these women online, I was hoping that by eating it for a short period of time I would be able to lose weight without putting my health at significant risk.
I knew my husband would reject it, because he thought I was stupid to inject myself with something new, without knowing the long-term effects, just to be skinny. He sees food as fuel and never weighs it, so he doesn’t understand my need to eat when I’m tired, hormonal or feeling overwhelmed.
That’s why I kept it a secret when I lied through an online questionnaire to get a £219 prescription, a ‘pen’ containing four weekly doses, starting at 0.25mg. I picked it up at the store and kept it in the fridge at work instead of at home. It is wrapped tightly in a plastic bag and pushed to the right at the back; If anyone is wondering who it belongs to, I haven’t heard anything.
I experienced mild nausea the first week but was otherwise free of side effects. So far, I have lost 11lbs, which is amazing. I probably ate a third of the amount I ate before, because I get full so quickly. Where before, I would constantly find myself thinking about food—the snacks I craved, the guilt and disgust I ate afterward—now I barely think about it. In fact, I am forced to take lunch and eat it, because I can easily go until mid-afternoon without eating anything and still feel only slightly hungry.
My husband noticed right away that I was eating small portions of our evening meal, but believed me when I said I was just on a diet. I’ve been crying about my weight for so long that I think he was relieved I was finally fighting it. He is busy and stressed at work, so I am not surprised that he is not surprised how I suddenly developed an iron self-discipline that I never had before. And now I’m starting to get my old body shape back, I’m more interested in sex, which he definitely appreciates.
The friends I’ve been seeing for the past five weeks have immediately noticed my weight loss. We all consider ourselves feminists, but it was clear that they were more impressed with my slim figure than if I had won promotion. “You look incredible!” took a gas. “So thin!!” For our generation, who were teenagers during the reign of Kate Moss, I’m not sure recent efforts to celebrate size diversity have had much impact at all. Although we’re encouraged to pretend otherwise. , beauty is still synonymous with thinness.
I trusted a friend when she admitted that she wanted to try Monjaro, a similar drug containing terzapatide – she was even more determined to get a prescription, despite being thinner than me. It was a relief to be honest with someone who felt the same way as me.
To other friends, I lied, telling them I joined the gym and started a “health kick.” It is a much more culturally acceptable term than “diet”, although it amounts to the same thing – another example of weight loss, but our basic behavior has not changed. I’d hate for them to know I’m actually buying a wig; I assume they will judge me, not only for what I should be able to cheat for myself, but also for being part of a movement that is increasingly seen as harmful.
I feel so ashamed when I think about my daughter comparing her body to other girls. I never want her to look at pictures like the models on the Paris catwalk and try to copy such unhealthy extremes.
I am very careful to never talk down about my body in front of her or label any food as fattening, because I want her to have a healthy relationship with food. But I know what I’m doing flies in the face of this principle.
When she saw me eating less food, I played it, and so far she doesn’t seem impressed. But when I think about her possibly injecting herself with drugs one day to try to fit a beauty that is not naturally hers, I fear. I don’t want him to have any hang of my body.
I’ve promised myself that I’ll only continue until 10th grade, and then I’ll do my best to stick to it, even though I’m worried I’ll struggle without drugs. I’m now 10st 5lb and worried that if I got on a treadmill I wouldn’t be able to get up. That I would gain the weight back and take drugs again. But when I tried on a pair of my old size 12 jeans and found that they fit like a glove, I couldn’t deny that it felt worth it.
Amy, 47 – As told to Polly Dunbar
* Name changed
#weight #loss #pills #wont #husband